it wasn't supposed to go like this

I haven't really been using this this much seeing as how all my fmp research is so very serious ('the history of theories of space in physics' anyone?). i'm not very sure how i ended up doing this really. it's not very me and what i had in mind a month ago isn't this at all. it's all going a bit generic and a bit masculine...

on another note, this made my stomach churn with envy when i saw it on the selby.

damn you karl

don't.know.what.i'm.doing

“I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

and this has kind of just made it worse.

i feel nauseous

"The confusion that accompanies Mercury's retrograde cycle influences everybody. However, the fact that it's your ruling planet means the odds are good you'll be wresting with self doubts. Unwelcome as this seems, what you learn could enable you to free yourself from anxieties you thought you'd just have to live with."

what does this even meeean? Not my week. I'm ill and i can't even enjoy christmas things. Woody knows...

кабина

Horrible horrible horrible day. I don't think i've ever been made to feel so inadequate so i'd like to run away to here.

woops

This little guy was found when i was procrastinating and i happened to pause at the perfect moment. Yes, of course, today was a poor working day. i was constantly distracted by EVERYTHING and wrote maybe 250 words for an entry from July. I tidied up my desk thinking maybe working somewhere other than my bed would result in a better yield of work. This is too difficult. Tomorrow needs to be more productive.

Screen printing got cancelled (?) on friday so fingers crossed for monday, where i may be able to muscle my way into that or etching. Now off to search for some bad tv to make me feel guilty about this really really unproductive day.

One of those days

that just couldn't end quick enough.

I hate the beginnings.

Mulling over

the most depressing tutorial yesterday where i nodded and agreed to being told i'm not really a very good designer...on a design course.

Bit spooky though, reading neil's horoscope as it sort of covers this. Whatever happened to a plain old 'happy birthday'?

sad dogs from http://www.gemmacorrell.com/

Deadline

Less than two weeks until the deadline and end of my first year at Camberwell...and we've got builders in. nice one guys, nice one. although, to be fair, he's just been hanging out in his van reading the sun for an hour or so.

Doubtful

Like a mother a few days before childbirth (one would imagine). I'm feeling a bit disheartened and wondering if this is the right thing. Plough on through i guess.

(my snaggle tooth is SO annoying. i can feel it in my sleep and slowly slowly im getting a bit obsessed by it. maybe its a hint to my conscious that i should do some fucking work.)

Drifter...

i've misplaced my bloody phone and feel really lost. pathetic. i hate technology. if only paper cups and string were as effective...i would be SET FOR LIFE. fingers crossed its lurking somewhere in the macroom. i only wish this one worked in the meantime.